As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
