Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
