At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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