and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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