Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
