I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
