i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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