hell yes lets make some ravioli
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
