Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
