she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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