Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
