She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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