Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
