Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
