Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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