Pregnant stripper...not hot.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
