Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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