shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
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