Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
