if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
