I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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