literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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