God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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