I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
