Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
