he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize