kristin has been a bad kristin
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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