worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
