I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Randomize