What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
