Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize