My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
