I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
