Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
