He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
