Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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