if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We had to coat check the pizza.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
