thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
