he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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