Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
This girl is more easily done than said...
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
