May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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