I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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