I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize