Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
