Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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