If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
