Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
