Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You need Xanax blowdarts
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
