She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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