I am spending my child support on dildos
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
