My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
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