I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
