she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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