It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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