Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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