would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
