I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
