I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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