Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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