I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
