We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
