here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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