for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
