the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
