i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
