You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
