All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
